A vacation that repairs our relationships… | Nevzat Tarhan


The month of Ramadan, which has a strong social and spiritual dimension, is a time when the soul is disciplined by our sacrifices and our endurance, and the training of the ego is done… The feast that follows is a natural thing… The holidays are in line with the reward-punishment system in the brain and divinely “You are spiritually divine in this time. You have made sacrifices for consent, you have taken on social responsibilities, you have tried to help people. ” Therefore, the party also has a psychological dimension in the form of a “reward”. Because a lot of sweets and sweets are given, it was also previously called Candy Feast. We have many beautiful traditions such as giving sweets, making children and people happy, and organizing holiday visits.

Religious and national holidays are the most important cultural norms that make a nation a nation. These are the days when common stories, experiences and life scripts are written. The common cultural memory, the days lived together and the stories that emerged from them, the most important experience of the future common ideas are vacations. The more common good lives, the greater the commitment.


No one has forgotten the meaning of the party…

Although our country has been affected by the changes in the world, the tradition of the holiday has not changed in society. The effects of the waves created by modernism in the world have also manifested themselves in Turkey. Many things have changed, but the tradition of the holiday has not changed in society, no one has forgotten the meaning of the holiday. When we look back at our childhood, we remember the holidays as the happiest days. Buying nice clothes for the kids, going for a walk to the neighbors that day, rewarding and welcoming everyone are embedded in the social unconscious.

Oh those old holidays…

When we look around, everyone says ah, old vacation. He says the same thing a hundred years ago and two hundred years ago. Ah, those old vacations… When you assess sociologically and psychologically, the person says that because they missed vacations in their own childhood. Because almost all of us had great childhood vacations. Family ties were strengthened and violence and anger decreased during these times. In such a period and in the family, the child also feels happier and stronger. He never forgets those days. Therefore, it is very important to transmit our own culture and values ​​to children. Thus, we protect the holidays during which our national identity and values ​​are transferred.


These are important values ​​that unite society…

The continuation of the holiday tradition is very important for the continuation of the common cultures of society. What makes a society a society are its common cultural values, its ideals for the future and its past experiences. The more they are in common, the more the society unites, otherwise the society becomes a society that dissolves in a small crisis. For this reason, holidays are the most important of the values ​​that unite the whole society. It needs to be revived and kept alive.

Repairing our relationships…

Holidays have the particularity of restoring human relations in the social dimension. So much so that suppressing resentments, renewing friendships, approaching our children warmer than normal days during the holidays, buying them holiday gifts and giving holiday allowances to children in the family circle corrects the precarious view of these children. Today, the most valuable value in human relations is the feeling of trust. This is also demonstrated in scientific studies. For trust to occur, the feeling of fear must decrease. The emotion that reduces the feeling of fear is love. The behavior that increases love is doing kindness one-on-one, kindness done with love reduces fear, increases trust, and feelings of regret disappear between human relationships. For him, holidays are very important for peace and harmony in society. The neighbor’s anger and resentment towards the neighbor can be compensated during the holidays. If there is resentment among loved ones, reconciliation and forgiveness can be achieved by saying “No matter the holidays”. Eid becomes an opportunity.


It increases the social capital…

We teach our clients about forgiveness in dealing with trauma. Because when we teach forgiveness, we dissolve the trauma. Eid means trying to put forgiveness first in your life. This will remove their negative feelings, fears and hostility. There are feelings of hatred, anger, envy, enmity and hatred, which we describe as the five horsemen of darkness. You have to replace these emotions with positive emotions like joy, joy, peace, individually. Socially, it causes the increase of love and trust in relationships with people and at the same time serves invisible social peace and tranquility. It is important to take measures that can bring social peace, tranquility and a healthy relationship in human relationships. All common cultural activities such as parties and weddings have the characteristic of increasing social capital.


The holidays are an opportunity to fight against loneliness!

One of the greatest dangers brought by modernism is loneliness. Vacations are an important tool in the fight against this danger. Loneliness is a global problem. The holidays should actually become an opportunity to change that. At least if we call our elders and loved ones during the holidays, we will both set an example for our children and ease the loneliness of the elderly. Loneliness increased further after the coronavirus. Special days like Eid are now an opportunity to reach lonely, orphaned and disadvantaged people. Surely there are people with disabilities around us who need help. Do not neglect to touch them.


Holidays contribute to the socialization of the child

We all know that children should have life-related responsibilities. It is also very important to express feelings such as compassion and kindness. Here, the holidays provide us with opportunities to teach the child the concept of dealing with bad feelings and compassion. The holidays provide an opportunity to teach the balance between freedom and responsibility and to assign the responsibilities of life to children from an early age. The party contributes to the socialization of the child. The holidays are the time when neighbors and relatives are strengthened, and there are times when people help people they don’t know. The child also learns to do good during this period. Being of service is such a feeling that it makes both the other party and the doer happy. Our forgotten traditions, such as mutual aid and visits during the holidays, help the child learn about life.

The language of the party should be “love”…

Emotions are shared during the holidays. Therefore, it is very important to use the language of love during these times. It can be a gift, an expression of appreciation, approval, or a smile. Thinking about underprivileged, handicapped, sick, children, orphans, elderly, victims, oppressed, imprisoned and condemned groups, making them happy is an investment with a return. They both win and you. The inner peace and gratitude you will feel cannot be measured in money.

If you want to go there, you must first take the heart…

If children cannot be with their families during the holidays and have to go somewhere, they should definitely take the hearts of their elders. They should visit them even before the holidays. They should go to their destination keeping their hearts happy. Because their biggest psychosocial problem is loneliness at this age. The greatest gift to an elder is to seek their opinion and consult with them.

When asked for his opinion, he will not be as happy as he is. It’s the best gift a child can give. It is very important to be able to say good luck during the holidays. This behavior is in fact a reversible investment. Because your child will do the same to you. He will apply to you what he sees. He will mold you. At this stage, you have to be sensitive. Empathy with the elderly. Of course, there is the fun side of the holidays, but we must not forget the sacrificial side. We must not forget this responsibility. We may not like it. The responsibility must be assumed.

The habit of being happy together during the holidays should not be forgotten!

We should view vacations as vacations of emotional visitation. And in this period, each of us should be generous with love. We should give these values ​​especially to children and young people. Instead of having fun, people should try to be happy with their families. It brings the habit of being happy together during the holidays.

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